The Problem with Labelling Emotions
In many workplaces, including schools, there is often more focus on how someone expresses their emotions rather than why they feel the way they do. This is especially true for Black women, whose emotions are frequently mischaracterised. When frustration is expressed firmly, it is labelled as anger. When disappointment is conveyed with directness, it is seen as aggression. When silence is chosen, it is misread as disengagement.
These labels do not just misrepresent emotions, they actively shape how Black women experience the workplace. Instead of being heard, they are managed. Instead of being understood, they are advised to soften their approach. This ongoing scrutiny creates a significant emotional burden, leading to stress, self-doubt, and disengagement from workplace discussions.
How Black Women are Conditioned to Suppress Emotion
From a young age, many Black women learn that expressing emotions must be done carefully. Speaking too firmly can invite the wrong assumptions. Expressing frustration can be seen as a personal failing rather than a valid reaction to injustice. This conditioning does not happen in isolation, it is reinforced in professional settings where emotional expression is monitored and often penalised.
A teacher once shared how, early in her career, she was advised to adjust her tone when advocating for students. “I was simply stating facts, but I was told to make sure I didn’t come across too strong. I started second-guessing everything I said, making sure I sounded ‘calm’ at all times, even when I was being treated unfairly.”
This constant self-monitoring creates an additional layer of stress, one that many colleagues never have to consider. The focus shifts from the content of their words to how those words are perceived, making it harder to communicate openly and honestly.
Why This Matters for Workplace Wellbeing
1. Emotional Policing Undermines Psychological Safety
Psychological safety, the ability to speak openly without fear of negative consequences, is a cornerstone of workplace wellbeing. When people feel like they must constantly edit themselves to be seen as ‘acceptable,’ it limits honest discussion, innovation, and trust within a team.
For Black women, the lack of psychological safety often leads to silence. Instead of engaging fully, they weigh every word and interaction, choosing self-protection over participation. Over time, this results in a workplace where the most important voices, those advocating for change, fairness, and accountability, are quieted.
2. The Mental Toll of Misrepresentation
Being consistently mislabelled has long-term effects on mental health. Anxiety, imposter syndrome, and workplace exhaustion are common outcomes of environments where emotional expression is unfairly scrutinised.
A school leader described how she had to seek therapy after years of being mischaracterised in meetings. “I felt like I was always walking a fine line. If I was passionate about something, it could be misinterpreted. If I was quiet, I was seen as distant. It was exhausting.”
No one should have to sacrifice their emotional authenticity to fit into a workplace. Yet, for many Black women, this is a daily reality.
3. The Barriers to Leadership and Progression
Workplace culture plays a direct role in who gets to lead. When Black women’s emotional expression is misread or unfairly judged, it affects their opportunities for leadership and career growth.
A teacher aiming for a leadership role was given feedback that she needed to “work on her approach” despite her strong performance. When she asked for specifics, the answer was vague, there was no concrete issue with her work, only with how she was ‘perceived.’ This kind of coded feedback makes it harder for Black women to advance, reinforcing workplace inequalities.
What Can Workplaces Do to Challenge These Biases?
Challenge Emotional Stereotypes in Real-Time
When someone’s emotions are being mislabelled, shift the focus back to the issue at hand.
Instead of saying, “Let’s not get emotional,” a better response is: “This is an important issue, let’s make sure we’re hearing the concern properly.”
Engage with the Message, Not Just the Tone
If someone expresses frustration, the first response should be: “I hear that this is important, let’s unpack the concerns being raised.”
This helps ensure the focus remains on the substance of the conversation rather than perceptions of delivery.
Create a Workplace Culture that Accepts Different Communication Styles
Emotional expression is personal and influenced by culture, personality, and lived experience. Rather than expecting a single communication style, workplaces should embrace a range of ways that people express themselves.
Educate Teams on Bias and Workplace Microaggressions
Unconscious bias training should specifically address how workplace culture influences the way emotions are perceived and validated.
Practical workshops can help teams reflect on how different people are allowed to express emotions without judgment.
Lead by Example
Leadership should model inclusive behaviour by validating all forms of emotional expression.
If someone is dismissed based on their tone, step in: “Let’s make sure we’re responding to the concern itself rather than focusing on how it was said.”
The Impact on Black Educators
For Black educators, this issue is especially significant. Schools are highly emotional environments, requiring teachers to manage not only their own feelings but also those of their students, parents, and colleagues. However, Black women often find that their emotions are judged more harshly, making it difficult to navigate conflict, advocate for themselves, or simply express disappointment or frustration.
A primary school teacher shared her experience: “A parent once complained that I was ‘too strict’ even though I was following the same rules as everyone else. I started wondering, was it really about my approach, or was it about how they saw me?”
To build truly inclusive schools and workplaces, we must create spaces where Black women do not have to constantly adjust themselves to fit a standard that was never designed with them in mind.
Conclusion: Moving Beyond Labels to Listening
True workplace wellbeing is not just about self-care, it is about structural change. Organisations that want to create supportive environments must move beyond surface-level diversity efforts and actively challenge the biases that shape how different people’s emotions are perceived.
For Black women, this means finally being heard, not as ‘intense,’ ‘too direct,’ or ‘angry,’ but as professionals who have the right to express themselves fully, just like everyone else.
Reflection Questions:
Have you ever been in a situation where your emotions were mischaracterised?
How can you ensure you are engaging with what someone is saying rather than how they are saying it?
What steps can you take to make your workplace safer for all communication styles?
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