Finding Community When You Don’t Have a Village

You know that saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”? It’s true. But what happens when you don’t have one? When your family lives miles (or oceans) away. When your friendship group disappeared somewhere between childbirth, shifts, and survival. When you’re navigating motherhood, work, or just life on your own.

Modern life has made community a luxury when it should be a lifeline.

It’s lonely.

Even if you smile at the school gate.

Even if you’re “doing all the right things.”

Even if you’re used to being the strong one.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re the only one who doesn’t have “help,” you’re not alone. Most women aren’t lacking resilience; we’re lacking support. You're expected to show up for everything, hold it all together, and still somehow feel grateful while doing it. But when you're overwhelmed, overworked, and emotionally tired… that's not a personal flaw. That’s a lack of community care.

So How Do You Build a Village… From Scratch?

Finding your people in adulthood feels awkward. You're not sitting on a playground anymore, asking, “Do you want to be my friend?” Here’s what I do know... your people are out there. And while they may not all live on your street or share your background, they’re craving connection too.

Here’s where to start:

Start small, but consistently. Say yes to one invite a month. Join the WhatsApp group. Message the mum you clicked with at the workshop.

Lead with honesty, not perfection. Vulnerability builds faster bridges than polished small talk.

Join spaces where people care about what you care about. Think wellbeing events, journaling meetups, or your child’s school community, you’re more likely to find alignment there.

Be the village you needed. Smile first. Check in with someone. Share a resource. You never know who else is hoping someone will reach out.

You Don’t Need 20 People...You Need the Right 2 or 3

The village doesn’t have to be big or loud. Sometimes it’s the woman who checks in on you once a week. Sometimes it’s the community you find.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this post. Leave a lill comment or drop me a heart, so I know whether or not it connected with you

Disclaimer: What I share is not intended to diagnose or replace therapy. Always seek support from a licensed professional when needed.