Postnatal Depression in Men: The Hidden Struggle We Don’t Talk About Enough

When we hear the term postnatal depression, most of us instinctively think of mothers. And for good reason, it affects around 1 in 7 women after childbirth. But what we don’t talk about nearly enough is this:

Postnatal depression affects men too.

Not in theory. Not rarely. Not as an afterthought.

Research shows that 1 in 10 new dads experience postnatal depression (Paulson & Bazemore, 2010), usually within the first year of their baby’s life. And that number may be higher because so many men suffer in silence.

Why It Happens

Society hasn’t exactly made it easy for men to talk about their emotions. So when a baby arrives and everything changes...sleep, identity, finances, intimacy, freedom, the pressure builds.

Combine that with:

• Hormonal shifts (yes, men can experience hormonal dips after birth too)

• Lack of support or role models

• Feeling left out of the parent-child bond

• Financial stress or changes in relationship dynamics

• A previous history of depression or anxiety

…and you have a perfect storm.

What It Might Look Like

According to Habib, 2012, men often don’t present postnatal depression in the “typical” way. It’s not always sadness or crying. Sometimes it shows up as:

• Withdrawal or emotional numbness

• Anger or irritability

• Risky behaviours or impulsivity

• Working excessively to avoid home life

• Substance use

• Feeling disconnected from the baby or partner

The Impact on Families

When a parent’s mental health suffers, the whole household feels it. But it’s not about blame. It’s about awareness and support. Children need regulated, emotionally present caregivers and that includes fathers or father figures. Supporting men in this stage isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity.

What Can Help

If you or someone you know is struggling, here are a few first steps:

• Talk to someone. A GP, counsellor, friend. Speaking it out loud is a brave start.

• Normalise check-ins. Mental health checkups should be part of postnatal care for both parents.

• Encourage support groups (many are online and discreet).

• Model emotional regulation at home. Let children see that feeling big feelings is okay and manageable.

• Build healthy, small routines: fresh air, nourishing meals, shared care responsibilities, and yes, moments for joy.

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Disclaimer: What I share is not intended to diagnose or replace therapy. Always seek support from a licensed professional when needed.